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Tuesday, October 22, 2013

MUET WRITING SAMPLE MAN'S CARELESS ATTITUDE ESSAY MARCH 2013 QUESTION

MARCH 2013

Man's careless attitude is the main cause for the destruction of the environment. Discuss. You should write at least 350 words. (60 marks)

Below is a good sample answer written by Franky, my 2013 lower 6 science student. 

In this modern civilization, man struggles to survive the high cost of living expenses, which significantly increases with each passing year. This causes them to use any method available that generates income and they start to sideline the importance of preserving nature. This is due to mankind realising the potential of economy that can come from nature. So, I strongly believe the destruction of nature is mostly caused by man's careless attitude whereby they prioritise their greed for money and the development of civilisation. Let us analyse this phenomenon in terms of the country's development, illegal activities of exploiting nature and the job opportunities. 

First of all, many nations try to achieve the title of the most leading nation in economy or infrastructure. So in order to compete with other countries, most nations try to explore any available land in their country for development such as industries, tourist spots and many other purposes that are related to money. Whenever they see the potential of a certain piece of land, they tend to develop it despite some of these places might still be uninhabited or the home for many wildlife. Sometimes, they would also plod through jungles or level the mountains for road development which severely changes the landscape of nature. As a result, this selfish and careless act will cause the deforestation and global warming. For example, Indonesia has become quite careless with their handling of these problems. In Kalimantan, Indonesia, the forest is being severely deforested by their people for land development. And to make matters worse, they even choose the fastest and cos-saving method of deforestation which is by burning down the trees, the mass release of carbon dioxide from the mass burn down of trees lead to ozone thinning and greenhouse effect. Also, the haze problem is another negative side product. As for the real victims of these acts, they are the neighbouring nations such as Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand and Philippines especially as haze causes many health issues such as lung cancer and breathing problems. Therefore, these careless acts and greed not only cause the destruction of nature but also endanger many lives, both man and animals. 

Secondly, some people's greed for great fortune and easy life make them become selfish and careless by over-exploiting nature. They willingly do illegal activities such as cutting down trees or animal hunting, seeing the high demand for these materials. It will slowly cause the depopulation of different kinds of flora and fauna. In China, these activities of eating inner organs of animals such as tiger or bear and they even use these animals' body parts for economic purposes such as tiger skin, crocodile skin and elephant teeth and tusks by exporting it to those who pay a high price for it. This has a serious effect on the ecosystem which is the extinction of animals. In Indonesia, trees are being cut down for making expensive house furniture made of material such as teak wood. In fact, these trees require a long period of 10 to 20 years to mature. Thus, the continuous cutting down of trees will eventually lead to its extinction. These activities are illegal by law and still occurs widely despite many countermeasures that have been taken by the authorised organisations such as World Wildlife Fund (WWF). Somehow, these criminals are able to slip through the organisations's enforcement laws of protecting the wildlife and nature. Plus, most society are careless to even take notice of these problems because they have yet to come to awareness of the dangers that would happen from these illegal acts. If only they had given more attention and cooperation to the authorised organisations, these problems might have been able to be prevented. 

Lastly, to survive in this modern world, every person needs to be able to make a living for themselves of their family, but many people with low education level cannot get high salary jobs, even university scholars are yet to be certain of getting a proper job after their graduation despite their high level of education. The competition is just like the survival of the fittest among these graduates and people with low qualifications. Therefore with the growing demand for more natural materials such as petroleum gas and minerals from the earth as well as a high demand of smuggled goods, people are willing to pay high prices to have employees do their job of exploiting nature because these jobs are high risk. So people that are desperately in need of jobs are usually tempted with the pay and they would take up the call. This situation had opened up a lot of job opportunities, but they are careless to not realise that these jobs are the main cause of nature's destructtion because they are being pinned down by the pressure of high living cost in this modern world that they have forgotten the importance of preserving nature. 

In a nutshell, I still strongly believe in my opinion that nature's destruction is mainly caused by man's careless attitude. They strive to make a living in the world so desperately that some eventually deny the truth that it is their own fault for nature's destruction. If no serious and proper actions are being taken immediately by many wildlife and nature preserving organisations or authorised organisations such as WWF, UNESCO and ASEAN to prepare an effective strategy or blueprint to prevent this problem, there probably won't be any jungles or wildlife left in the future and our young generaton will have to live in a polluted world. 

Will this student get a high band? Why? 
Leave a comment below mentioning what aspects of this essay will be awarded high band marks. 
For example, the concrete examples of various countries being 'careless' in treating the environment will definitely earn him more merit/bonus marks. 
What else? 

28 comments:

  1. good evening madam Audrey..i am a candidate of MUET this coming March. i would like to send you one of my essay which i did as my excercise to be marked/checked if it would not be a problem for you. how can i reach you? can i have your email?

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  2. good evening madam, actually how many points should we write in an essay?

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  3. hello madam Audrey. . thanks a lot for your effort^^,
    keep going.. may i share this blog to my friends:-)

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  4. What band can this essay actually get? I'm guessing around band 5-6. Am I right?

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  5. A good essay indeed! Well done

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  6. very good! awesome.

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  7. Is there answer for reading november 2013? Pleaseee

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  8. hello madam Audrey..how can i get band 4 or 5??because i'm not enough strong in english communication..can u hlp me??

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  9. Wow i have so much to learn and pounder , ty u...

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  10. with so much knowledge plus less grammar mistakes and beautiful sentences. this essay might got band 4 or 5?? am i right madam ? :D

    really hope i could write such this good essay next week. i'll try! pray for me madam!

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  11. my teacher very angry

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  12. MUET make my days trouble :(

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  13. OMG how can I write like this .. this is the 3rd time I'm sitting for MUET T_T

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  14. MUET IS THE BEST !!!!

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  15. This is a good essay and suitable for us who are going to sit MUET exam in November...

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  16. Salam sejahtera rakan2 semua...

    Ada berita baik buat anda yang baru nak ambil peperiksaan MUET, yang GAGAL dan nak ambil semula, yang TAK PERNAH LULUS serta yang nak memperbaiki band yang diperoleh dalam peperiksaan MUET yang lalu. Rakan saya Saudara Shamsul Ariffin telah menerbitkan sebuah panduan khas untuk anda lulus cemerlang dalam peperiksaan MUET...

    Jika anda berminat untuk mendapatkan panduan tersebut SiLa KLik Sini

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  17. Wow I'm speechless. I can't Imagine what will i wrote for tomorrow essay paper.

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  18. this person really love nature . so much idea

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  19. It's a good effort madam. Thanks a lot

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  20. I'm guessing it in band 4... If the essay include idioms might get hunger band...

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  21. In my own personal opinion, a student's opinion that is, I would give this essay a band 5, that's because his sentences are a bit too long. Even though each sentence contains informational content, it would still seem a little winded and too time-consuming to write, especially given such short time to finish 2 essays.

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